POPPING BUBBLES, THE FINALE'

To answer Tammi's question/comment and the questions it brought to my mind, I referred back to my husband who quotes this stat to all kinds of people--students, administration, deacons, school committee, friends and neighbors, and of course, me.

This is what I found out:

The statistic comes from the Barna Research Group, which is very reputable and conducts many studies of religion, religious trends, religious groups, etc; and from what I understand, this Stat has been "on the books" for quite a long time and has been/is common knowledge to all sorts of people and groups, believers being the last to catch on--imagine that.

This stat refers to people's CORE beliefs...creation/evolution, literal heaven/hell, Jesus is just a good man/sinless Savior, etc. It doesn't refer to the areas of one's life that could be considered "gray areas" which, I agree, can change infintely throughout our lives, especially when leaving the nest.

Of course, this stat cannot be absolutely applied to all; however, it does account for the mass majority of humans.

I won't go into how the secular world uses this knowledge; most can probably figure that out just by stopping and thinking about it but, what I said about believers just now "getting it" is very important because we are way, WAY behind "the seculars" in figuring out how to take this information and use it. I myself, think it involves changing all children's Sunday School curriculum and the way we approach discipling the young. That's another whole series of blogs; I obviously need to finish this one. So, here goes:

Quick review:

Shy, oldest child, venomous snake, hence: disobedience=death.

I'm first grade and I believe in my head that to disobey most probably could bring death and this scares me into submissive obedience, not that I needed this, I was a VERY compliant child--remember that confrontation/humiliation thing? The obedience was brought about by
manipulation from someone that all kids trust, a teacher.

FAST FORWARD ABOUT ELEVEN YEARS.....

Now I'm a senior in high school, traveling with my class on our Senior Trip to a little backwoods camp somewhere in North Carolina, I believe. (The name of the camp is Bill Rice Ranch so you know to NEVER send your kids there) Our bus is traveling along and we turn on this narrow road that supposedly leads to the camp, only to find a few miles up that there is a huge tree blocking the road. Now we were stuck and the only thing we could do was to BACK DOWN this narrow road, ON A CHARTER BUS, driven by a TEACHER who may or may not have had a CDL. How narrow was this road? We took up the whole road. Out the left side of the bus, we could have literally reached out the windows and touched the mountain and on the right side of the bus, a steep, pine-tree covered fall down the side of the mountain; absolutely no room for error. Did I mention we had a trailer on the back of the bus? So, all the girls hear this: "All the boys off the bus to unhitch and move the trailer and help guide the bus driver; all the girls sit down and be quiet." Now, remember, I'm still a pretty compliant kid at this point, but I'm not stupid, and I have ALOT of common sense. I don't know who started the parade, maybe me, but all the girls stood up and paraded themselves OFF the bus--better disobedient than...dead. Ironic, huh?

Interesting, how did it end? Well, I'm blogging.

FAST FORWARD AGAIN ABOUT TWELVE YEARS, give or take (I'm around 30 now), and I'm sitting at a birthday party. Some family and friends are talking about our H.S. Alma Mater. My sister or brother, cannot remember which, mentions the time the bus got stuck on the side of a mountain during their Senior Trip to Bill Rice Ranch. If you're mind is a steel trap, like mine, you're thinking exactly what I said...WHAT?!? WAIT A DARN MINUTE HERE! DID YOU SAY THAT THREE YEARS AFTER MY SENIOR TRIP, THE SAME THING HAPPENED ON YOUR SENIOR TRIP?!? Come to find out, the narrow road/tree/girls stay on the bus was NO accident, it was planned. Who planned it? I'm not sure but do you see the pattern of manipulation through fear by teachers? It was a setup to get us all thinking about life and death and start questioning where we were in our "walk w/the Lord". We were getting ready to have a "Come To Jesus Meeting" all week long; a final stunt to get us all saved and repent from our rebellious ways and become ministers and wives of ministers in their delusional, legalistic army. Obviously, this was not the first attempt but it was the most sinister.

I know, many assumptions and quick conclusions, but believe me, after spending twelve years in this school and seeing all we did, it instantly made sense to all of us sitting there, without question. I dare say, that many that have been manipulated and burned by legalistic organizations such as this, easily come to the same conclusion. Yes, these are believers that not only make Christians look bad but they are the exact same ones to whom I referred in Popping Bubbles One, when I remarked about "people burned not by hellfire but by hell's favorite converts".

I grew up in a legalistic organization of "Fear Christians" that manipulated children apart from their parents, fed us lies about what the Bible meant, showed us no love, mercy or grace whatsoever and yet expected us to have a relationship with Christ. Tell me why, oh why, would I want to have a relationship with a God that was up there just waiting to strike me down the minute I disobeyed? See the problem with the first grade story now? See how it affected my whole life? Having a relationship w/a God like that is no different than having a relationship with the Grim Reaper himself, as he also is waiting for us to mess up so he can strike us down with that huge scicle and drag us to the depths of hell.

Sure, as I got older I didn't believe the bullcrap they threw our way, and I was driven FROM a relationship with Christ, not to him. I became that Christian that knew the answers they wanted to hear, and they spewed forth from my mouth on a constant basis. I went into survival mode--"just make it to graduation." They became a part of my personality, and whenever I was around "churchy" people, I became a totally smiling, plastic, under the white steeple, hide behind the stained glass, don't have a problem in the world 'cause I'm a good Christian, Barbie. Know any of those? I left the church as soon as I graduated and it would be years before I'd step back in.

I have to add this, as well. My church was not legalistic, just the school I attended, BUT, the leaders of my church were apathetic to the plight of the youth. The 80's, and even well into the 90's, maybe even as far back as the 60's and 70's, the church in America catered to adults while the children and youth were pushed into the background. Even today, most churches still have the majority of their budgets dedicated to the adult ministries of the church. Common sense--if you don't invest in the future members, who will be there to lead? Barna stats tell us that 88% of children leave the church after high school and NEVER set foot in church again. I reiterate, who will be there to lead? This, as well, is another blog for another day.

I'm married now and after our first child was born, we decided that we wanted to get back into a good church for HER. That's not a good reason, I realize now; nonetheless, that is what we did. It took us a good four years to find a church--they preached the truth boldly, the worship was not antiquated and the church was growing and they were invested in the community. The church was phenomenal. We became heavily involved in several ministries but I still was not having a relationship with Christ. I was still playing plastic, church Barbie because I had never been taught how to have a true relationship with Christ--by being who you are and living within his mercies. I was still just going to church because that's what Christians do. We knew enough to know where to go to church, what we wanted, what we believed but I didn't know how to be a sinner and reconcile that with his grace. I was still trying to be perfectly good. Worse yet, I wasn't happy with my life; I felt empty.

So, a few years ago, we were called to a school in Florida. The headmaster at the school had four children that were stair-stepped among ours and he and his wife were around our age. Being in the same career field as my husband, we all hit it off instantly. We shared the same struggles, disappointments and heartbreaks. I started noticing immediately that there was something different about them--they were not judgmental of ANYBODY, they just really loved on people. Not only that, but they were real; on Sunday, they didn't play church, they were the same on Sunday as they were every other day of the week and they were not "churchy". They told off-color jokes, cursed occasionally, wore shorts to church, their car and home were a kid-wreck just like ours and they had this love of life. Amy immediately began to "push" me out of my painfully shy comfort zone and we became quick friends. I was able to be who I really was around her, not a shined up, Sunday version of myself, and I started to realize after all these years that to be a Christian doesn't mean that you have to be perfect. To be a Christian doesn't mean that you will never sin. To be a Christian doesn't mean that you cannot tell people that your favorite music is Rock-N-Roll, not Steve Chapman or Sandy Pattie. You don't have to know all the books of the Bible in order and know the exact date and time of your conversion. You can wear a two piece swimsuit and curse when you shut your finger in the door. Your kids don't have to look like Stepford Children and being in an argument w/your spouse is expected. I could tell her that the Lord had told me something that day, and she didn't look at me weird--she would usually tell me what he'd said to her. I could be who I really was, she knew everything about me and it opened my eyes to a whole new world.

They didn't know it, still may not, but they showed my husband and I that being a Christian means having true, open relationships with people, treating Christ as the real God he is which means it's not weird to talk to him or worship him all-out or put your monthly budget in his hands, disagreeing and discussing but not judging or holding grudges. Mostly, they taught us that if you see a need, you fill it, no matter the cost to yourself--the true epitome of a Christian, in my humble opinion.

The best part is that the Lord brought another couple to the same school and we all have this same relationship still to this day, even having moved hundreds of miles apart. Tammi is one half of them, and you can see the dialogue we have and that we don't always agree but it doesn't threaten my, nor her, Christiaity. That doesn't make us any more or less of a Christian, it just makes us stronger. Imagine, knowing what you believe enough to participate in real discussions about modern-day issues that affect the world, not just spewing out answers like, "because the Bible says so". We've both risen above being Christian-zombies like those legalist schools tried to turn us into so many years ago so that now we can be true friends--I know "real Tammi" and she knows "real Amy".

Finally, what does the words "Popping Bubbles" have to do with all of this?

A few weeks ago, I was reading an article on the Dirty Dish website and the author was talking about how we, as Christians, often walk around with bubbles around us. We think, as Christians, we have to be perfect people; we think, as denominations, that we have it all right and we walk around trying so hard not to pop the bubbles that we have surrounding us, that we become something we are not. We become very unapproachable and unrelational. Furthermore, we become afraid to let people see us when the bubbles do get popped, and, they do get popped. So, instead of becoming a "Brotherhood of Believers," we become a bunch of little isolationist Christian Islands with no connections to each other--person to person and denomination to denomination--or the world.

In order for us to be effective in bringing the world into the church, we have to start popping those bubbles that surround many of us. If we cannot be real and tolerant with ourselves and other believers, how can we be real, tolerant and relevant to the world? Or maybe we're more real with the world than believers, but then that makes us hypocrites and the church definitely doesn't need any more of those.

It's not easy for me; there are some days that I blow another bubble around myself. I still have some bubbles to pop, being in this new place with new "church" people. I still have prejudicial bubbles of other denominations that subconsciously exist from my upbringing. I'm still shy somewhat and do not like confrontation, but I have to be real for my own sanity and survival, even if it means that I tell people what I really think about cheesy "churchy" events...like "Friend Day".

But that's definitely another blog for another day.