CHECK

The "imaginary list" (Tammi) in my head is all checked off! Went to bed at 2AM, about an hour earlier than I thought I would.

~Bought all 30 teacher's gifts--LOVE the dollar tree--little tins of tea and shortbread cookies in a stocking, yay!

~Root beer and party mix for the "1" male teacher, yay!

~Blanket washed and made and gifted last night during a little "get-together," yay!

~Kids' teacher's gifts de-tagged, wrapped and gifted this morning, yay!

~Different book exchange gifts bought late last night--LOVE Books-A-Million-open til midnight, yay! (dislike children who didn't like what I had already bought, yay!)

~Cinnamon popcorn made and tasted...yummy, yay!

~Lots of cherry Coke, yay!

~Hot tea, yay!

~Coffee, yay!

~Indoor plumbing (thank you Thomas Crapper), yay!

~TheraFlu for Anna, yay!

~Someone else made dinner and had us over, yay!

~Didn't have to wash uniforms 'cause today was "Christmas-wear," yay!

~Going back to bed for an hour, OH YEAH!

MY HOLIDAY CURSE(S)

I definitely should not be sitting down at all, not even to blog, but I need a break. I have a buttload of cinnamon popcorn to make by tomorrow for a school party; I have a blanket to make by 7pm tonight, and the material is just now washing; I was informed last night, VERY LATE last night, that my hubby thought he should probably get a small gift for the teachers--yeah, all us women know EXACTLY what that meant. I was up until 2:15AM helping Molly start AND finish a project that she has known about since Thanksgiving. We had words from about 11PM until 2:15AM about the importance of not procrastinating and how this will be the LAST time I stay up helping with a project last minute. It was worth 300 points, what could I do? I know, I know. Then I was up at 6AM to wake Anna so she could study for Mid-terms, as she has a bit of a head cold and went to bed early last night. Gerald and the kids off to school at 7:30AM and Zac and I head out the door shortly after to find those gifts for the teachers. Back home about 12:30PM, bank account depleted, and fed Zac the sandwich we picked up at Blimpie; he proceeded to spill his root beer and I said a Holiday Curse that went something like, "Well, shooting stars, Zac, how many times have I told you to put the lid on your drink?!" "Sorry, mom, it was an ancident." "Alright, I know, just be careful 'cuz I'm trying to be happy for the holidays." LOL.LOL.LOL. That's all I could do--stress laughing, I call it. I used to do it in my sleep at college during exams, or so my roommates said. They'd yell at me to be quiet and I didn't even have a clue I was laughing in my sleep. Weird, huh.

I was ahead, now I'm behind, such is the Holiday Curse. The Holiday Curse has nothing at all to do with Christmas, it is its own entity and allows me to blurt out "OH, HOLIDAY CURSE," and then insert whatever "word" I deem appropriate in my head and nobody has to be in the know about what I'm thinking or feeling of the holiday season ") Like the other day when I went to Target to buy cinnamon redhots for the cinnamon popcorn--they only had a little 6oz. tube for $2.99 OR you could buy them from the Jelly Belly counter for $6.79/lb. I was like, WHAT? Well, deck my halls, how hard is it to carry big bags of cheap cinnamon candies?! Now I have to go to the scrooge of all scrooges--Walmart. I absolutely hate Walmart. I cringe just typing the letters; however, I've had to break my boycott and go in there TWICE this holiday season. Seriously, makes me want to go through the self-checkout and scan my butt just to see what they would do. Sorry, mom.

I actually was stupid enough to schedule hair appointments AT THE MALL this past Saturday. We spent about four hours there b/c they were so far behind...and I had ALL the kids. No hubby, he was barricaded at school finishing about six projects for his master's degree class. That was on Saturday, it was due on Sunday. See a pattern here? Molly, Gerald. Then I went back on Sunday to have Jake's hair cut--my fault, I messed it up awhile back and it needed fixed. Oh, yeah, we also attended not any less than two athletic events this past weekend. We ate frozen taquitos and frozen chicken strips and frozen pizza. We did, however, fix fresh veggies w/each frozen, preservative-laden, non-food, food. We lost our dog on Friday. Found him on Sunday; I'm rethinking having put up "Lost Dog" signs b/c he's barking right now and I'm tired. VERY tired. We skipped church.

Well, I have to go double check that the kids' basketball uniforms are washed, yeah, games tonight. I've wrapped about eight gifts and have about that multiplied by 1,000 left to do...not really that many. I'm thinking about just sticking a bow on top of each box or tying a ribbon around each Target bag. Do the kids really notice anyway? I think not. Hmmm...not a bad idea; we waste too much paper and cut down too many trees as it is. Washer's done...time to make the blankets!

Happy Shopping, only 5 days left.

A LITTLE PIECE OF ME

A little over a year ago, our life took a sudden journey through an unquestionably long and dark tunnel; we thought we might never see the light at the end. It was the Lord's plan, no doubt, but it was a very painful journey for many people in our lives; however, pain often inspires. It often is the catalyst for my writing, specifically poetry. I do not consider myself a poet in any sense of the word, that makes me laugh, I just consider myself a person that can put together rhyming words pretty well. I'm short on time and brain power today so I thought I'd share a writing of mine; I may think better of it tomorrow. I may totally embarrass myself. That's okay, that's life, let life be what it will. Hope you enjoy.

HANDS

First intertwining of lives together

Mine in his and his in mine

Unfamiliar flesh

Made familiar with time

Two parts of two bodies

Different and the same

Forever move like two of one

One pulse, one heart, one name

Cold with lonely

Wet with tears

Weary with work

Tremble with fear

Children held and let go

Parents tried and failed

Devil tried to part

Both had felt the nails

Eyes grow dark and cannot see

Feet refuse to stand

Ears turn off and will not hear

Still forever I'll know his hands

Amy 9-2005

ANYONE FOR VITTLES?

We moved to a "truly" southern state this year. I've noticed the past few weeks traps in alot of yards and after contemplating this for several days, I remembered hearing someone say a while back, "We have trouble with squirrels chewing our power lines here." Instantly, I knew what the traps were for...EWWW!


A few of our neighbors have a trap in their front yard; they all had us over for a get-together before we moved into our new home.


Ya'll come back now, ya' hear!

SECOND SURPRISE

I have to preface the following by saying that I am plagiarizing the idea for this blog from my friend, Tammi, who is a naturally talented and witty writer. She is as witty in person as she is in her writing; she's wise, she's beautiful and she inspires me everyday. She also is a talented photographer; she took this photo of Zac in about 30 seconds. It captures his whole personality. Thank you, Tammi, let me know what I owe you ")


My fifth, my baby, will be having his fourth birthday tomorrow. This year he has become a child; he is no longer a toddler. The following is a list of some of his milestones that have made him such:



1) He now sleeps in his OWN bed, not Dad and Mom's, Anna's, or Drew's. This was a BIGGIE!



2) He is completely potty trained: No diapers, no pull-ups at night, he cleans himself.



3) He dresses and undresses himself and does this at the appropriate times; although, he occasionally still plays nude football.



4) He talks in a language that has morphed into English and we can now understand.



5) He eats mostly w/utensils and wipes on a napkin if he has one; otherwise, it's his shirt or whoever sits next to him ")



6) He learned somewhat that the world does NOT revolve around him and he doesn't get everything he wants, WHEN he wants it. He's learned about change and moving to another state. He's somewhat learned what COLD really means ")



7) He learned to share and negotiate but that, in the end, tattle-telling works the best



8) He got his first real two-wheel training bike



9) He's learned how to be sneaky, blame the "invisible person" and perfect ornery



10) He can make his bed and a pb&j. He can pour his own drink even if he trashes the kitchen in the process; he can clean up his mess in the kitchen or come tell mom; he usually does the latter



Zachary Eli. He's an amazing little man. He looks like Gerald, is the only one with my wavy hair, is athletic like Jake, contemplates life like Drew, giggles and hugs like Molly and bosses all his siblings around just like Anna. He's everything I never knew he would be and everything the Lord intended when he decided four years and nine months ago that we needed another surprise in our life. I'm still wondering and waiting to see the Lord's plans for the world that he put Zac here.



He grew up faster than my others because he is #5. He didn't call me "mommy" very long; he learns everything the older kids do and therefore, I'm "Mom," and Gerald is, "Dad". He calls carrots, "rabbits" b/c of the picture on the bag, he calls his elbow his "knee" and his boo-boos he calls by whatever activity he was doing when he got the boo-boo; for instance, he got a BIG bruise on his chin when he slipped doing pushups and he asked me the other day if his "push-up" was gone.



His phrases almost all start with, "Can I have..." and he always wants to tell us "sumpting", especially at bedtime. He's a good sleeper but his eating habits could be described as grazing. He still doesn't understand that grandpa and grandma live 11 hours away when he asks to "go to Papa and Memaw's house today for just a minute!"



His favorite "real" food is macaroni-n-cheese w/chicken fingers, but if he could choose, he'd have popcorn, sweet tea...with a lemon, a cookie and a banana for every meal. He loves Thomas trains and big trucks and he got a letter from Santa yesterday and keeps asking when he can open the presents under the tree. He always tells everybody that Santa brings his birthday.



I love that he grew into a child this year, but still lays on the couch with me, thumb in mouth and watches QVC. I wish I could keep him this age-- full of wonder and love and squeezable cheeks, the closest he'll ever be to an angel. Soon, he'll be fighting me tooth-and-nail to become a man and a leader and I'll then have to balance being his mom and being his teacher--allowing him a little room to practice his male, future-leader, dominant-gene skills so as to hopefully, carefully, help him to become a loving, wise leader for his future family and career.



I have the most important role in his life for now. He has the most important role in mine. The Lord put this little man into our family; he definitely completes it. Happy Birthday, Zac-Zac.

REALITY

Reality: n the fact or condition of being real; an actual fact or thing; truth

And the truth is...I'm old. Reality hit today when I had to explain to my ten-year-old son how to open a coke bottle with a real bottle opener; I'm surprised we even had one. I guess that Gerald had an attack of nostalgia last night while shopping for pop to have with our tacos (Monday is our official "taco night"), and he bought those little glass bottles with Santa on them. Must have a special memory attached to those things. After explaining the complicated task of taking off the cap, Jake then asked how the glass didn't break when the vending machine dropped the bottle; therefore, I proceeded to tell him about the stand-up pop machine with the little glass door where the pop moved around a little conveyor belt. Then I told him about the REALLY old, huge vending contraption that we had in our church kitchen for years that looked like the deep freezer we have in our garage. I told him that when our church moved into the modern age and bought an upright version, everyone was mad because the price of a pop went from $.10 to $.25! Of course, the next explanation was the built-in bottle openers and that some people collected bottle caps--no, not the candy. Standing in the kitchen, explaining all this, I had another moment of realization of my age when Jake said, "So, that's the weird machine daddy's cousin has in his basement", and I instantly had a picture in my mind of my kids last Christmas all standing around an old, upright pop machine and trying to figure out what is was and how it worked; touching it, studying it with puzzled looks on their faces and wondering why it had pop stickers all over it? Oh, to be a fly on the wall and hear the conversations going back and forth. That would make a good T.V. show. Putting kids in a room with old machines and listening to their conversations.

Being "older" now, I have learned that age, much like beauty, is a personal call and that you truly are ONLY as old as you feel. I vividly remember throwing my dad a surprise 40th and thinking he was halfway on his journey to meet the Grim Reaper; I remember crying because I thought he'd be "passed on" by the time I had kids. Funny! My dad's only 20 years older than I am. Now that I'm looking "40" almost straight in the face, it doesn't look so bad. Honestly, neither does "50."

Becoming older, and realizing your older, are definitely two different things and reality takes a little getting used. I remember puckering up, blubbering and being uttlerly devastated the first time I looked really close in the mirror and realized that I was developing a thin spot, and I don't mean in my waistline. I seriously thought I'd be bald in a week and had keys in hand ready to go buy some Rogaine for Women before anyone else noticed my obvious "bald spot." I've learned to live with it and how to cover it. Resourceful in my old age, huh? My husband was complaining that the stylist left his hair a little long on top the other day and I said maybe she's trying to help you cover something up. lol. He, of course, gave me that look and so, my role being "the supporter," I made him feel better about himself by stating that I have to ask my stylist to work around my thin spot b/c if they cut it wrong, it's really obvious. "It's just part of aging so you might as well get used to it like you got used to that extra weight ." Helping someone become aware of their reality is sometimes fun. That's part of our job as wives, introducing our husbands to reality. They fight it worse than we do, hence trying to play ball with 20 somethings and refusing to buy bigger pants.

So, my hair is thinning, it's out now. Everyone knows. Reality. Might as well know that I have trouble with sausage, too. Yeah, sausage and me make a little brew that scientists define as Gastrointestinal Gas produced by hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans. My family would like to publicly thank Beano at this point in the blog because even though it's just hilarious when a kid "toots", it's just as equally not hilarious if an adult does, especially when it's Mom. Sometimes, I liked them better when they were little and oblivious to everything.

Night blindness. I have this..a little; in reality, probably more than I would like to admit. Hair..shall we go there? Hair is like a stealth bomber, it silently arrives at places its not supposed to be and then one day, BOOM, the bomb is dropped and you discover the hair. You gasp for air and then start dry heaving while you frantically look for your tweezers and Veet, lest anyone discovers your secret atrocity. Worse yet, it conjures up images of the "fat, hairy guy" that used to swim in a speedo at the public pool. While you're searching frantically, you realize you cannot see, your back is hurting for no reason and you're having a hot flash like you're standing on the surface of the sun.

Could it get any worse? Time will tell. I do not like getting older, who does? But, I definitely would not want to be young again. Being young is tougher than getting old; being older, you already have experience with life and you've learned to deal with most things. You just wish things would slow down.

Oh yeah, one more sign of getting old: when you have a blog titled, "Remember When..."

REMEMBER WHEN...

My grandmother is very modern. I suppose maybe you could call her a "Thoroughly Modern Milly", except I don't know what that means...so I won't. She has a computer, has taken computer classes, and emails me at least twice a week with "forwards" from friends. She also line dances every Tuesday and is a member of the Red Hat Society. She's awesome. I have many memories of both of my grandmothers, most are good, except when I got myself into trouble with them. One of these days, I plan on dedicating a blog to them; I just haven't written the right words in my head.

So, I get an email from my grandma a couple of days ago which I enjoyed, but with which I did not relate. Sorry Grandma, I have, of course, heard of the simplicities and joys of the 50's and 60's, but I don't personally remember any of them. So, for you grandma, and my readers, which might be JUST grandma, I remember the 70's and 80's. Sorry, no music to accompany; just strum some REO Speedwagon or Def Leopard(sp?) or Journey in your head. Here we go.

Remember When...

you got your first microwave and you cooked a cake in it in nine minutes and you thought it was the most awesome cake ever

you got your first tv with a remote control and the remote clicked when you changed a channel

you had to wait 45 minutes to cook a tv dinner in the oven, plus preheating

when Three's Company was considered a risque' show but you never knew why b/c your parents always changed the channel when the "suggestive" scenes came on

the Nestea plunge

there were no ratings on t.v. or music

nobody cursed in public

nobody "did" their nails and most people didn't have highlights, especially teenagers

Atari was cool and you couldn't keep up with the "blip" on Pong(?)

when the t.v. stations all shut down at midnight and the National Anthem played

reruns of Mash, Cheers, and Taxi

Leave It to Beaver and Happy Days

Joni and Cha-Chi

Good Times and "DY-NO-MITE"

the mad dash to buy a Cabbage Patch doll

cable t.v. boxes

your first VCR

your first "Boom Box" and cassette tape

when headphones were bigger than your head and weighed about ten pounds

Remember:

Friday Fright Night
Friday Night Videos
The Donnie and Marie Show
Dorothy Hammill haircuts
mullets
Miami Vice
TransAms
Camaroes
leg warmers
the biggest car was a station wagon
nobody wore seatbelts
everyone rode in the back of pickups
overalls were cool
chigger and mosquito bites and camphor or that pink stuff was all you had to put on it
chicken pox
roller skates with four wheels
Farah Fawcett
big, feathered hair
MacGuyver
Knight Rider
Six Million Dollar Man
Lindsay Wagner
The Unknown Stuntman
Evil Knievel
Dukes of Hazzard
Facts of Life and "Tootie"
Dallas and "who shot J.R."
"craft shows" became popular
bowling lessons in the summer
summer vacation that lasted a whole three months
dads that actually took vacations
vegetables that tasted good and came from your own garden
BIG Big Macs
Cocoa-Cola was a treat
the ice cream truck
roast and potatoes on Sunday
Shawn Cassidy
Welcome Back Kotter
John Travolta
Olivia Newton-John and "Let's Get Physical"
The Bee-Jees
exclusively male news anchors
saddle oxfords
long skirts
when everybody knew how to read
when most people had blue collar jobs
when there was no air conditioning in school and very little heat, and you still went all day, every day
recess everyday
real meat markets where you watched them actually grind your meat and cut cold cuts
TG&Y
when a penny would buy you a whole handful of bubble gum balls
when you could run two or three neighborhoods ALL Day and your mom never wondered where you were or worried about you not coming home
when moms played softball and left the kids around the corner at the park to play
when moms left you in the car while they made a quick run into the grocery
when Hubba Bubba was cool
Smurfs, Plasticman, Inspector Gadget and the Flintstones
everybody played baseball in the summer and hide-n-seek way past dark
everybody watched the Olympics
the '81 Olympics
tube socks
red, white, and blue tennis shoes
your first $50 pair of Nikes
when you could trick-or-treat anywhere, not just to people you knew
when t.p.-ing someone's house wasn't illegal
when you didn't have to have insurance on your car
when cars were made of steel
when cars had no air conditioning
when cars had manual windows and locks
when everybody drove mom or dad's car...and it was usually a beater
when you went cruising on Friday nights just to flirt with boys, not take them home
MTV
UHF and VHF
eating watermelon and then playing in the dirt...and nobody cared you were filthy
neighborhood swimming pools...with diving boards
when anyone could afford tickets to the ballgame
when you weren't supposed to wear pink and green on Thursday or you were considered gay; someone always forgot and got ribbed all day
when wearing pink and green were "in"
big hair
big hair bands
collars that looked like lace tablecloths
polos with the collars up
Jordache jeans
Michael Jackson's white glove...and everyone wore one
Madonna's "spiked" bra
Boy George
George Michael and "Wham"
blue mascara
just regular Oreos, no doublestuff
lunchboxes that came with a Thermos
your dad's black, metal lunchbox

Wow, I could go on and on. Tell me what you remember. I'm sure it'll be a "hoot."
Have a GREAT weekend!

SUBDUED RELIGION

When I decided to start blogging, I had to decide for myself what kind of blog I was going to "produce", and of course, for those of you who know me, I blog according to my personality--quiet, non-confrontational, positive... UNTIL today.

I'm cleaning house today, getting ready for a bunch of middle/high schoolers to come to our house tomorrow night for a Christmas get-together. So, I'm thinking, "We don't have ANY Christmas music, I should get online and buy a few songs from itunes and burn a CD to play to set a festive mood." So, I end up subscribing to Yahoo's Launchcast for a free seven day trial. Not my first time using yahoomusic--i really love them, but the commercials were annoying and certainly not conducive to "festivity." I sit down to listen to a few songs and to read about the artists singing them. I have my preference set on "Christian Holiday" and I'm still amazed at the songs that young believers out there produce on a daily basis. It sets my heart on fire and makes me want to sit down and compose a song of my own--if only I could.

A song comes on launchcast while I'm loading the dishwasher and it showcased a drummer. The song, of course, was Little Drummer Boy sung by Jars of Clay. I've heard LDB a million times, but never like this. The drummer was drumming like he was on a drumline, a first-place championship on the line and it strikes me that THIS is exactly what the little drummer boy would have put out there for our Lord and Savior--his best performance, not some subdued two-four beat that barely calls for music at all, let alone a drum.

I grew up in a great believing family with a dad and mom that sacrificed ALOT to send me to THE Christian school in town. It was their conviction, and I truly am thankful EVERYDAY for the opportunities this afforded me. But, I have to say, that it was a legalistic school--it exuded legalism from the windows. We were taught that the water Jesus turned to wine was more like Koolaid and that when David and the Israelites danced before the Lord, it was mostly clapping and cheering. We were taught obedience out of fear and never shown any grace, mercy or forgiveness for our humanity. I don't know about you, but this insults not only me but is a slap in the face to the inspired Word of God. The Bible says what it means. "Dance" means dance and "Wine" means wine. Being in this school my whole life, and many of my friends the same, we didn't realize that there was anything a little off, until about our Senior year. We started questionning and thinking for ourselves and I think we barely made it through the year without being expelled and have since pretty much been blackballed and branded as the "Rebellious Class of '88". Most of us went on into the world and quit going to church, we'd been jaded. Some of us found our way back; most have not. It's a common story of believers from that decade. Yet, in God's ultimate wisdom, he's turned that into a current great generation of believers who are stepping up and they're bold and they're phenomenally talented. They know what they believe and they put it out there. The Church as a whole, across all denominations, is waking up from a long slumber, and I say, it's about time. America, and the world, needs us to be awake.

Why this story, you ask? Just some background on me and to encourage everyone out there that on Christmas day, wake up and turn on some music, dance to our Savior like there is no tomorrow. I'm so sure that when the angels sing, they sing and they dance and they stomp their feet and they wiggle their hips--yeah, they wiggle their hips. Did you ever notice that when babies first start dancing, they wiggle their hips and they stomp their feet and they exude pure, innocent joy on their faces; their eyes sparkle? It's the joy of the Lord. Catch some joy this Holiday season. When the pressure of cleaning and purchasing and decorating and baking get you down and you start to hate the Christmas season, put on some rockin' Christmas music and celebrate Christ right down to the core of your being. How could we not be passionate about our Savior born on this day, a gift to us, so undeserving. Don't be subdued by religion. Catch The Passion this Christmas. Dance like he saved your life. Merry Christmas!

Disclaimer: I have to say that my parents are not, and never have been legalistic, lest anyone infers this from my blog.

CONVERSATIONS

Some conversations I had today:

(with bad breath)"M-o-o-o-m, can I have some cereal?"
"Yes, but don't wake anyone else up"
Leaves room and comes back
(with bad breath)"M-o-o-o-m, with Milk?"
"Yes, and go brush your teeth"
"Mom, mom, mom, can I play a game on the computer?"
"No"
"But, mom"
"I'm sleeeping! Leave me alone!"
"Man, I NEVER get to play on the computer"
"Mom, can I have cheez-its?"
"No"
"Mom, I have to tell you suntin"
"What?"
"Jake won't let me play his puter game"
"Tell Jake I said to let you play"
"Yes-s-s!"
"Mom, can you button this?"
"Mom, can I have pudding?"
"Mom, can I have an orange?"
"Did you brush your teeth?"
"Yes"
"Go try again"
"Did everyone change their undies this morning?"
"No"
"Go do it"
"But I did it yesterday!"
"I give up"
(yelling, loudly)"I better not come in there and find food!"
"Get off the arm of the chair"
"Who didn't flush?"
"Dad"
"It wasn't me!"
"Who plugged the toilet?!"
"Dad"
"Maybe"
"Who wants to vacuum the family room?!"
Silence
"There is no dodgeball in the house!"
"Mom, can you button this"
"Can you get the kids to bed so I can study in quiet?"
(rolling eyes)"Are you kidding me? You just slept for 30 mins while you were supposed to be studying"
"Please"
"Whatever!"
"That's cool"
"Shut up"
"I'm putting that on my blog"
"Whatever"
"No, really I am. It's not a threat"
"That's lame"
"You're lame"
"You're mom's lame"
"I'm telling my mom you said that"
"Go ahead"
"You're weird"
"Stop RU-U-U-nning!"
"Stop HI-I-I-tting!"
"Everyone go to your room"
"Mom, can I play a game on the computer?"
"No"
"Everyone come eat"
"Everyone clean your stuff off the table"
"Who left their stuff on the table?!"
"Did anyone feed the dog?"
"Go tell the dog to shut up"
"Leave me alone for 30 mins"
"Mom, can I have cheeze-its?
"No and it hasn't been 30 mins yet"
"Hugs and kisses, mom"
"I love you"
"Night, mom"
"Everyone brush your teeth"
"That better not be anyone up messing around"
"It's not"
"Whatever"
"I'm getting the paddle"
Silence