After writing, reading and for a few days now, mulling over my "Popping Bubbles" series, I felt I needed to expound a bit on what I've learned, not only from popping my own bubbles, but also from taking a look back at my childhood and adolescence.
I believe we, as parents, need to be infinitely aware of what our children are being taught in Public and Private School and Church--to the point that we become obnoxious.
We need to actively listen everyday to what our children talk about; sitting in on or "parental eavesdropping" of conversations your children have with their friends and siblings, often reveal much information about goings-on in the classroom that children often don't think about telling their parents. *Remember, they assume that you know everything that's going on because you're the parent and you've checked out everything and everyone; this is especially true with private school students. They're often not skeptical about anything being "amiss".
We need to instruct children, at very young ages, on the
Passionate love that Christ has for us moreso than the discipline we might receive at the hands of our heavenly father; the latter, I believe, should be taught when children are starting to enter adolescence and have good reasoning and logistical skills. Address boldly anyone manipulating with so-called Bible or devotional stories, even if it's unintentional. Obedience coerced by fear is not obedience at all, it's just surrender to the fear for the moment; obedient submission is an obedience born of love, honor and respect for the authority.
We need to be more realistic in teaching about our "Heroes of the Faith"; instead of just teaching EVERY year about Adam & Eve, Jonah, David, Joseph and Moses' heroism, we need to teach of their humanity, sins & redemptions, repeated failures and trials. Children are not too young to understand that nobody is perfect and if we only teach about these heroes as people who followed God's instructions, they miss the most important lesson that Christ teaches us through these people, as follows:
1) They were just like us, human & weak
2) They messed up OFTEN
3) Knowing Jesus doesn't make your life easier
4) Christian people are not perfect people
5) One person CAN change the world
6) When you mess up, there are consequences
7) They were ordinary people who put it all out there for God, saw God's awesome powers and
still wavered in their faith easily and often.
Imagine the hope and empowerment you could give a little girl that's being molested, if she learned in church that not only can God use you if you are like Esther but God can use if you happen to be like Rahab--yes, the prostitute. Is church the place to broach the subject of prostitution and molestation? I feel safe in stating that if THE BIBLE, GOD'S HOLY WORD can broach the subject of prostitution, churches can, as well.
How? Well, however most experts say to broach this subject with inquisitive minds--give only as much information as needed; no more, no less, don't go into specifics. Bring in counselors to talk to the children before lessons with sensitive subjects.
I know, I know, I know, it's radical territory but children live in dangerous times. The estimate is that one in three girls are molested at some point in their life. Human beings attend church, so church people fit right into that estimation, as well as, unchurched. What do you think it's like as a young, molested girl hearing the story of Adam and Eve, their nakedness, their shame? IF the teacher even broaches the subject of nakedness, the child would undoubtedly be very uncomfortable, and if the teacher is not educated in explaining the shame correctly, the little girl could think she is an unworthy, unuseable person for the rest of her life.
WE HAVE TO BE RELEVANT, PEOPLE! We have to address the world where they are hurting...even children...especially children.
How about a good, hot, full, nutritional breakfast? How about teeth cleaning/personal hygiene 101? How about making a PB&J 101? How about reading and writing help? Is this not relevant; is this not meeting the needs; is this not what Christ meant when he said, "Love your neighbor," and "Do unto the least of these"? "Oh, my, stop teaching and preaching!" Christ, himself, stopped his sermon when he saw the people were hungry; he fed their bellies,
then their souls and there was more going on there than just the miracle of the five loaves and two fishes. Christ didn't stop teaching so they could watch him perform a miracle; he stopped because, bless their humanity, they were distracted EVEN from Christ's teaching because of physical hunger. You think Satan is not too low to use something as seemingly simple as hunger to distract from Christ? So, why didn't Christ just miraculously fill all their bellies? He was, I believe, teaching us Christians a lesson in meeting people's physical needs parallel with their spiritual needs.
How can we expect a child to listen if his belly is empty? How can we expect a child to read the Bible or follow along if he is illiterate? How can we expect a child to want to keep coming to church when he turns 18 and realizes that his soul is so hungry, but his teachers don't have a clue about his world or physical needs and, besides, he will never be good enough to fit in w/all the "shiny" people. Especially if he knows his soul is saved from hell, why would he waste anymore time in a place so unrealistic when he can go down to the local anything and find people realistic, interested in who he is, accept him, help him and love him.
Let's face the cold, hard fact, Church: If we have been doing our job as "neighbor lovers" and "lovers of the least" all these years, why are there so many government and secular social service organizations out there? Because needy people woke up one day and decided that they liked standing in lines and filling out paperwork and being scrutinized by the government to get help? Because they woke up and decided to become an atheist and never step foot in a church building? NO! We dropped the ball, we became too full of ourselves, we became intolerant of the "broken" cookies and we attached strings.
We, the Church, drove them away.
People left the churches, had kids of their own. With no "rock foundation," mentoring or discipling, accountability, encouragment, help or positive role models, their families fell apart. Again, the intolerant church neglected them. Now, we have an American universal church whose numbers are steadily and quickly declining, not unlike those of European churches only twenty short years ago. The church has created this cycle, not the world. They came to us and we knew them not. Now, they know us not and they don't want to know us.
We need to wake up, stand up, repent, change, and assert ourselves as the followers Christ mentored us to be, not the Pharisees and legalists he'd throw out of the Temple.
It's going to take a total overhaul of church curriculum: counselors, educators, ministers, parents all need to work together to write a curriculum that is realtime relevant, addresses learning disabilities, addresses different learning styles and is, of course, based on solid Biblical teaching that leaves gray areas for parents, guardians, Theological scholars and Seminaries.
The church, in particular, needs to realize that we are not sheltering kids from the world on Sunday morning--that's just ridiculous. We're just a once-a-week safe haven, a resting place, a constant. They live in the world all week; they see and hear things that would apall most adults and if you think you know what I'm talking about, you probably don't even know the half of it. Most fifth graders today know more about sex than we knew about the subject when we were twenty. We need to be relevant with the kids. We need to speak in blunt, straightforward and unfiltered language and we most certainly don't need hypocrites teaching in churches; kids can see "posers," hypocrites and bigots coming a mile away and will drive churched and unchurched away faster than sign-ups for Choir.
After we have addressed their physical needs, while teaching about their spiritual needs, we need to engage their minds. This would come about in the Middle School years-the logic stage-when kids love to challenge and debate. Yes, this is why Mid's are such smartmouths at this age. Instead of making them sit down and listen to more stories of Jonah and the Whale and case studies involving cheesy stories about somebody giving into peer pressure, we need to let them voice their questions, concerns and beliefs.
We have the opportunity to teach these kids the "why" behind the beliefs so they can defend themselves. Real debates and group discussions are great for mid's who cannot sit still to save their lives. Remember, these are boys and girls who, most likely, spend most of their free time in front of T.V. and video games. Their lives are filled w/many non-stop activities during the week and, suddenly, on Sunday we expect them to sit completely still for an hour and listen to someone drone on about peer pressure and unrealistic idealology that abstinence 'til your wedding night makes for the best sex that is all and end's all (that's another WHOLE blog). Give these kids the tools they need to go and they WILL go and they WILL amaze. They have unlimited energy stores, let them use it; they are tech-savvy, sit back and watch. They're not the same as past generations and I don't believe that past generations of Americans worked and fought so hard for so long, so that the future children could do things exactly like it was done in the past. We're a progressive society and we have to embrace all that comes with that--even in regard to church and worship.
*Just one sidenote: It's a popular occurrence nowdays to see churches without denominational signatures. Some old, established churches have even started pulling the denomination from their name; many older-generation do not like this. What this is, is the new generation coming of age that has been taught, since birth, tolerance and avoidance of prejudices. Face it, denominations can be, and have been, a prejudicial issue; it often alienates. Catholics don't work w/Baptists, Baptists w/Assemblies of God, "Oh my, they might clap their hands too loudly," etc. The denominations are being obliterated for tolerance sake. We're becoming more of a community of believers this way and, in most cases, this is a good thing.*
Some of these ideas are being used now in churches and private Parochial, Community and Christian schools throughout the United States. The results are phenomenal; however, most churches lag behind because they are so steeped in tradition, they don't like change and it seems such a daunting task.
The younger generations are pushing for changes. We're pushy and very insistent. We want church--relevant, modern, hypocrite-free, socially adjusted. We don't take "NO" for an answer.
The church needs to remember that it's not about buildings, committees, coffee and donuts or even the RECORDS of converts & baptisms; it's about them--the neighbors, His children.
He thought they were worth dying for, what does The Church think they're worth?
