HANDSOME NEUTERED MALE

We gave this cat a temporary try but it's not working out.

If you're a cat person, looking for a sweet cat--this is your guy.

MEOW!

WHAT'S HER DEAL?

The internet is a weird, fascinating, scarry, fun place.

(Is it, "a place" ? Hmmm...)

You can type almost any word or phrase into your browser and instantly get a plethura of information on the subject right at your fingertips.

Don't remember exactly how I got here today (a link to a link to a link) and I'm not sure what to think of it.

Give me your opinions.

WHERE'S TAMMI?!?

Tammi--I've looked thru all the blogs you frequent and I cannot find you.

So, I've been forced to take the search public.

Have you boycotted commenting?

Are you barricaded in, waiting for the birth fairy?

Have your boys buried you in the laundry pile?

Trying out new preggo-craving recipes...pickles and ice cream/twinkies and fritos?

Silence is NOT blogging.

You make our lives worth blogging, Tammi.

Pleeeeease come back.

Where are you...you...you...you!?!

WASTING TIME

Sitting here this morning, wasting time, waiting to take Jake to Space Camp; they check in at 8:45--still another 1/2 hour to departure. Last week, Anna's class was gone to Camp McDowell somewhere here in Alabama--about a three hour bus drive. It's an Environmental Science Camp. They took two to three mile hikes everyday, climbed walls, enjoyed waterfalls and wildlife, as well as, learned survival skills, camped out one night, plotted constellations and tracked the International Space Station in the clear, night sky. By the end of camp, their three-school team had reduced their food waste in the mess hall down to 1/2 a pound, which must have been a big deal b/c that's all they talked about after getting back to school. The camp aspired to the Theory of Evolution and the kids were able to use their Science class knowledge and debate skills to frustrate the leaders to the point of not taking anymore questions on the subject and pointing out that Evolution is, after all, just a Theory.

The camps are an expense not covered by the activity fee but I have found it's definitely worth the money, both for the experiences they encounter w/people that have different views on the world but mostly for the relationships that are strengthened with classmates and teachers through these camp experiences. I respect that the school is not afraid to expose our children to the world and help them get their footing while the kids still have adults to fall back on for help. It's, in my opinion, a very valuable experience to not be sheltered from it all.

The kids' school starts taking 3-5 day class camps every year from fifth grade on that ranges from Environmental camps to Space camps to Marine Biology camps at Dauphin Island in Tennessee. It's something new to us and, of course, our kids love it--it's the culmination of their entire year.

The school also takes many, many field trips--I've counted them this year and they average around two per month, per class in Elementary school. I've seen my kids learn things about Alabama and American History, as well as, Science and Math that they wouldn't have paid attention to in class. Most schools limit field trips but here they are encouraged and it benefits all the students, but specifically, those kids who are tactile learners and need hands-on to "get it".

It's just another example of this school's purposeful strategy to accommodate every learning style so that no one child lacks in his educational experience.

Can you tell that we love the school?

Well, I've wasted enough time that it's now time to drive Jake over to the Space & Rocket Center. Traffic should be pretty light by now--cross my fingers. It's about a 15-minute drive and pretty much anywhere you go here in HSV, you cross paths with the Space & Rocket Center.

If you happen to be in the HSV, AL, Nashville or TN Valley area, you should stop in for a visit--we have much to do here from Hiking, Cycling and Sports to Art Galleries, Music Halls and Ballet--anything "artsy". HSV was built much around the German rocket scientists we "acquired" as part of the WWII Peace Treaty w/Germany. Since Europeans are heavy into the arts so, too, is HSV. We are a very culturally diverse city being heavy into Science and Math, Engineering, Space and Aeronautics. I've been told we are one of the most diverse cities in America, ranking up there w/some of the biggest cities.

Weird, huh? Alabama, who would've thought.

EXISTING

When weekends

Are weekdays

And

Weekdays are

Months

There is no living

Just existing

Existing

Sucks

FRESH & CLEAN, #I

We have a gmail address, which we LOVE because you can take it anywhere you move.

And we, unfortunately, have moved quite often in the last few years.

Gmail has this feature that is sort of eery at first, but you soon get used to it. While you're typing an email, "something" takes note of the main "theme" of the email and then, off to the side, posts links comon with the "theme".

Today, I was exchanging new addresses with my Aunt in Tennessee and gmail, as usual, posted links off to the side.

I was casually glancing over them and came upon one that was strange because it was totally off-theme.

I was thinking, "What?" "What's this have to do with ANYTHING in my email?"

So, of course, I was intrigued and followed the link.

Because of the interesting nature of this product, tomorrow I'm planning a second blog on the same product, focusing on some specific "features" the product offers.

I'm expecting comments on today's blog, but please (Mark), no inappropriate satire.

Tomorrow, #2.

:0) :0) :0) :0)

SERIOUSLY

I comment, off-blog, quite often about how we, as Americans, are so spoiled.

Just the sheer number of choices we have in T.P. is quite absurd.

Our pets benefit much in our excesses.

This cracked me up.

It's called a "Pet Peek."

Because Fido needs to know what's happenin' at the neighbors, as well.

Otherwise, how would he ever know if he's keepin' up with Fido Jones?!?

I have to wonder who spits in it to keep it from fogging over?

You or your dog.

Check it out here:http://www.solutions.com/shopping/search/searchresultsmain.jsp?fresh=1&searchType=advanced&iMainCat=0&iSubCat=0&attribute14=0&attribute15=0&attribute16=0&RS=1&keyword=pet+peek

While you're there, check out the "Poop Freeze"

FRIDAY THE 13TH

So today is the 13th. So today is Friday.

I have no qualms about Friday the 13th. To a Porter, it's just a day and a number; let the black cats cross my path, someone give me a ladder to walk under.

Friday the 13th is peanuts compared to The Porter Curse.

Chuckle.

Today does, however, remind me of something funny that happened this week.

Gerald has this thing about Freddie, you know Freddie...

Long knife-fingers, small acne problem, has some early signs of a receding hairline, a slightly aggressive personality and is enamored with fire.

Yeah, THAT Freddie.

Gerald had this dream a long, long time ago...

Okay, he had a nightmare but that seems so cliche'.

He had a nightmare about Freddie and now he has this thing...phobia...of all things Freddie.

Won't even watch the movies anymore.

Chuckle. Ahem.

Sometimes he even gets me a little spooked.

I don't know why or how but he also has claimed a phobia with all things Jason.

Two nights ago, after dark, Gerald and I have to make a quick run to Target probably around 9pm. We put the kids in bed, except for Anna who we leave in front of the TV.

It's literally a two minute drive.

So we were fine with leaving Anna in charge for a few and maybe even getting in a quick smooch, a squeeze and a wink before we got to our Starbucks-inclusive destination.

Hey, we have five kids and we're busy all the time! You take it when you can get it. This would be considered a date in some middle-age circles.

Okay, it WAS a date--we're middle-age and with all the weight we've gained, Gerald and I are our own circle.

On with the story...

It's pretty dark on our street and the moon was overcast. We're talking and other things as we pull out of the drive and out of the corner of my eye I see this guy standing in the shadow of our neighbor's pine trees.

I instinctively jump a little and point him out to Gerald who had also just seen him in the headlights.

Gerald was heading the front bumper in this guy's direction, ready to take out 60 ft pine trees and all to run the guy over...lucky for him, we realized he was an older man that lives in our neighborhood; he walks everynight. Gerald calmed down and drove on when he realized it wasn't Freddie or Jason.

The older guy always wears a sweatjacket w/a hood in dark colors and has this habit of moving completely off the street when a car comes his way.

He just stands there completely still with his hands down by his side and stares at the people in the car as they go by. Then he takes off on his walk again.

It freaks me out everytime.

The guy seems harmless and he's not weird--I've met him.

A word to the wise, don't ever mess w/Gerald about Freddie; he doesn't see any humor in it. You could say he freaks out somewhat and becomes a little unstable :)

Although, one of these days when I have some extra cash, I plan to buy a pair of Freddie fingers, scrape the windows and scare the Starbucks out of him.

Revenge.

There was this guy that lived in our hometown, Independence Missouri, and ordered pizzas ALL THE TIME from our store. He happened to live on Elm Street.

One time, Gerald made ME deliver to him because we were busier than normal, all the other drivers were gone on deliveries and we were closing in on the "30 minute or free" deadline. Gerald HATED missing the 30-minute mark, obviously because of the $2 down the drain but also it was some sort of pizza guy ego issue. ($2 is what it cost to make a large one-topping pizza around 10 yrs. ago)

Anyway, this particular block of Elm Street was tree-lined, dark and freaky and the delivery address was the same as THE address in the movie.

And it was a Dead End Street.

And the customer lived at the very end of the street.

I'm NOT making this up.

The drivers used to always draw straws or numbers to see who would have to deliver there. I had watched them do this many times and I'd laughed.

But it wasn't so funny when Gerald sent me out that night.

And never mind that Freddie Krueger might live there and make a personal pizza of me; it was all about the bottom line, baby. (Well, okay, and I couldn't make ten pizzas in like one minute, while answering the phones, cutting&boxing the pizzas and directing the drivers what to take and where to go all at the same time, like Gerald could, but still...)

So I went to "THE house" on Elm Street and obviously it all turned out well. The guy did say something about knowing his address was the Freddie Krueger address and looked at me kind of strange, like it was cool or something and I should ask for his autograph instead of his money.

Maybe on Halloween, Dude.

I just smiled nervously, took the cash, ran to the car, locked the doors, shivered and high-tailed it back to Domino's. I never delivered there again.

Two positive things: he tipped well.

And it turned out he was really nice. To look at.

So go eat that pizza, Gerald!

And watch your back. SCREEEECH.

FUNNY

I found something slightly amusing on a blog I was reading this morning on AL.com, our local newspaper blog.

I found the particular bloggers to be somewhat idiots, and yet, slightly entertaining.

(Disclaimer: I don't use *idiot* lightly.)

These idiots happened to make my morning when one of them gave out the following lead to chase:

1. Go to Google.com, here's the link: http://www.google.com/
2. Click on "Maps"
3. Click on "Get Directions"
4. In the "Start" box type: New York City, NY
5. In the "End" box, type: London, UK
6. Click "Get Directions"
7. Scroll down to step #20 and start reading. Step #23 is the kicker.

It's good for a laugh.

Maybe two.

Idiots!

Postscript: These directions only work between the East coast of the U.S. and Europe; Google doesn't give "driving" directions across any other body of water--West coast, Southern coast.

Yes, I tried.

And this was funny to me, as well.

Maybe the affects of the Funny Gas still have not worn off completely?

I know, I need to get a life. :)

NUMBER THREE

I am really late on this post.

This is normal.

Meet our number three

Molly Grace.

One of her distinctions in our home is that she was our tiniest baby.

She loves it when I tell her that.

Molly is quite the personality in our home.

You could probably say she is THE personality in our home.

She even sleeps with personality--can you see her? No? Me either.

I often have to go poking in her bed at night during the final "mom check" to see *where* she is in comparison to all her stuffed animals and Barbie Dolls that she has to sleep with because, as she puts it,

"I can't pick just one, Mom"

It's her bed, what can I say?

Oh yeah, and she often sleeps in a dress.

That's just Molly.

Molly has taken up sports which was quite a surprise to us because she's always been more of a girlie girl. Now we just describe her as a girlie girl tomboy.

She's loves to dig in dirt so much that Memaw and Papa always gave her a special place in the backyard to dig. Needless to say, she LOVED the beach sand and even digging in our backyard in Florida was heaven to Molly.

She's always been a tactile child and literally washed her hands in her food everytime she ate until the age of around three, when I finally put a stop to it.

From time to time, however, she is still known to do it when I'm not looking.

Molly views sports as alot of fun, as shown below, because she believes it to be a very important time in her social development.

Chatting over bottled water while sitting on the bench is as important for Molly as playing the sport itself.

She he has pink soccer shoes & basketball shoes with pink in them.

Molly is very photogenic. As a matter of fact, I cannot remember a bad picture of Molly.

She takes after her Aunt Erin, who she emulates.

She LOVES to be compared to Aunt Erin.

I love, and at times absolutely loathe, that she is so much like my sister.

They both can have SUCH a *Diva* personality.

This is Molly with some of her fellow third graders in a limo ride at the annual

"Third Grade Manners Luncheon"

The person she has wrapped around her little pinky.

Her "Escort for the Day"

This is such a "mom picture".

Happy Belated Ninth Birthday Blog, (March 24th) Molly Grace.

She now wants to be known as Molly Grace, by the way.

A result of living in the south.

She does southern so well.

This next picture is just revenge.

My sister, Molly Grace's Aunt Erin.

I threatened to post it on my blog because she kept making gestures for the camera that I cannot rightly post, as I try to keep my blog PG.

See how photogenic she is?

Gotcha', Erin.

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,pppbbbththth!!!

NUMB

Numb: lacking or deficient in emotion or feeling; indifferent

The past couple of days have been emotionally up and down for me and today I have digressed to just being numb.

Some things are happening in our life and they are bringing back memories of previous times in our life and feelings of uneasiness and general distrust.

Hubby has been at the school a year now, evaluated things and has this week started putting into action some tough changes.

Changes are never easy, especially when you've been burned; taking the first step towards a fire brings up all sorts of emotions.

Everything seems fine.

But are they really?

There are questions and reservations.

Questioning of everyone's motives.

Reservations about who you can really trust; do I let them know the deep-down, real me?

Over-analyzation of every comment, email, and meeting.

We've learned that when changes are made and all is quiet and everything seems fine, we need to start ducking and looking over our shoulder for the tidal wave.

We've learned that once you walk through the fire and come out the other side, there is usually another fire to walk through, and another and another.

I firmly believe that the road to heaven is engulfed in fire. It's not only straight and narrow but filled with fiery trials to walk through.

I'm not saying that you have to walk through fire to get to heaven but it's there nonetheless. Those willing to walk through the fire become stronger and are then able to carry those that cannot walk through the fires; those not willing, will step around the fire and will not experience the adventure of walking through and the strength to carry on and the courage to ask for more. Refined is the one word I can think to describe how you feel coming out the other side.

Refined through Satan's fire, by the hand of God.

Our greatest discovery about our life-destiny has become our greatest act of submission--our life has been, is and always will be all about walking through fires.

We're wholly content with this and fully inspired by it because we feel that the end result is worth the scars and the burns...

And always smelling smoke behind every door.

There's a song we should probably claim as "our song" at this point in our lives. I don't remember the name of it right now.

It's written and sung by a girl that is blind. She's definitely walked through some fires and the song speaks of what she has learned about the trials.

She says that it's not the fire (trial) that makes us strong, it's walking through the fire that makes us strong. Coincidentally, we heard the song for the first time when starting the walk through our most recent fire, a year and a half ago, and it changed our whole outlook on the trial.

We became focused on what we were going to learn through it, instead of wondering why we were allowed to go through the trial. In a way, we viewed ourselves as being blessed for having the priviledge of walking through the fire.

No, we did not enjoy the burn. At times, it was unbearably painful and, to this day, the scars are the hardest part with which to deal, but we learned immensely from the experience and gained knowledge far beyond our 37 years.

Further even, we learned that we become strongest when we are willing to walk forward, not knowing but suspecting there is fire around the next corner and being fully ready and willing to walk through it, if there is.

I don't feel numb anymore.

I'M HIGH

So, I have to hurry because my hubby just went to get some more gauze and some hydrocodone to deal w/the pain I'm sure to have soon from having all four molars out today.

I thought I wouldn't be able to blog but I thought I'd try before the laughing gas wore off...and to see if I could still type. It's a little hard but I think I'm typing okay.

Maybe I'm really slow, like the drunk people you see on T.V. pulled over by the cops.

Am I rambling?

Everything is really funny to me right now. Zac has tripped twice and I cracked up laughing with my chipmunk cheeks.

My mouth feels like cotton and I feel nauseous at times, mostly when Zac is running circles around the room.

Everything went well. They didn't have to use stitches after all; my teeth just gave way.

Gerald would be really mad if he knew I was sitting up instead of reclining like I'm supposed to be.

He and I had a small tif last night and it's all I could do to keep from crying while under the funny gas.

Maybe I did, who really knows.

All I really remember is they seemed to have a hard time pulling out tooth number one and I could hear the cracking and tearing of whatever it is that cracks and tears. But it was sort of like a dream and I kept thinking maybe I'm already at home asleep and I don't even know it.

Okay, I think this will turn out to be a seriously weird blog.

I remember the assistant saying something about cookies and the dentist asked if she was going to throw up. Maybe I was actually talking.

I talked to God alot when the nitrous first kicked in; glad he was there. Now I know why we all need faith. Out of body experiences are not something to go alone.

Well, I'm starting to feel really cold and a little nauseous again and I have to get back into "post-surgery position" on the recliner before Gerald gets back.

I think I'll go take a look at myself now. Maybe I'll take a pic and post it.

Ha, that's funny.

I can't feel my lower lip and I keep asking Gerald if I'm slobbering. He laughs and says, "Not yet." He says he should record this.

Ooh, I think I'm starting to feel a little pain. Me no likey.

Ha, ha again.

Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be so embarrassed I posted this but I just HAD to.

Don't hold it against me.

Tomorrow I'll surely be on hydrocodone so, seriously, don't expect a blog.

Love you all. Enjoy Easter.

WISDOM AND A GOOD CAUSE

WISDOM...

I, Amy, am 37 years old and am TOMORROW having my wisdom teeth cut out.

I am so EXCITED!

Ha.

Yes, I was a "late bloomer". My wisdom teeth didn't break through until sometime after I was off of my parent's insurance. The extra teeth never bothered me; besides, I had five children, a husband, a dog, two or three friends, a house that needed renovating, an old boat, great neighbors, and, most importantly, no dental insurance or extra cashola.

Plus, the wisdom I gained from having these four extra pieces of enamel in my mouth was priceless.

A few years ago I was told by a dentist they needed to come out b/c I have a very small mouth and I could not brush them properly as they were right up against my jaw.

They still didn't bother me, I still had no insurance or extra cashola, so why bother?

See the priceless wisdom of which I spoke?

Then, Super Bowl this year, I was eating a chip and heard the awful sound of one of my teeth cracking. The day of reckoning had arrived.

Tooth against jaw, no brushy-brushy, cavity and half a tooth.

Low and behold, the dentist was right after all.

Imagine that.

She must still have all her wisdom teeth.

So, I went about life with a half a tooth, only chewing on one side of my mouth, my jaw aching from one-sidedness. My tooth was now bothering me so much that I was popping up to three ibuprofens before bed to ward off the pain so I could sleep a little. During the day, I was able to cope...most of the time. I have a high pain threshold and I don't like taking medication.

I was petrified about being "put under" but the pain eventually won out. The dentist that is performing the "big event" tomorrow will be using laughing gas, per my request after we discussed all the options. I hope I don't do or say anything stupid. I'll let you know.

I'm slightly nervous as the event now looms on the horizon.

I am counting down hours. My stomach has butterflies and I've lost my appetite.

That's a good thing, by the way.

I'm anticipating being down and out for two days; hopefully, no more.

Don't EVEN expect a blog, people.

NOW THE GOOD CAUSE...

Anna, Jake and Molly are participating in a "Math-A-Thon" sponsored by their school and benefiting St. Jude Children's Hospital. 100% of the donations go to St. Jude, the school does not benefit monetarily from this fundraiser, just in name.

There are two kids with whom they go to school that are ongoing out-patients at St. Jude and the school does about two fundraising events a year for St. Jude Children to show their support for these kids.

My kids have set their goals based on prizes they can win from donations, of course, and would love it if anyone that reads my blog would feel impressed to leave a donation for a good cause.

Click on the following link to reach the donation page for the Math-A-Thon. You can use a credit/debit card online or send a check into the school.

The school's address is:
Whitesburg Christian Academy
c/o Math-A-Thon
6806 Whitesburg Drive
HSV, AL 35802

(Yes, you can just put HSV for Huntsville since mail gets to its destination through the ZIP code; it also saves you energy and wards off writer's cramp.)

For online donations, click on the link below then click on "Sponsor School" and find Whitesburg Academy in ALABAMA, then you click on "Sponsor Participant" and type in whichever of our three wonderful, angelic children you'd like to sponsor/donate. Follow the directions displayed.

Thank you if you decide to donate; if you don't, you're a loser.

Just kidding.

Make sure that if you send in a check, you write the name of whom you are sponsoring in the "Memo" section.

St. Jude Children's is primarily funded by public contributions. About 83% of funds donated in the past five years has gone to fund current or future needs of the program.

The link: https://www.mathathonwired.org/Mathathon/Public/Student/Page/Default.jsp?sectionStyle=subMenuTwo

New blog in a few. Wish me luck!

I AM SOOOO

TIRED!

Three sets of visitors in three weeks is killing me.

New blog tomorrow.

I apologize to all of my millions of adoring fans.

Just cannot do it today.