Worst Day of the Year

First day of school every flippin' year.

I hate it. Call me a strangefellow because I like mingling about with my kids. Twenty years ago, I would have called my future self, weird.

I love having them home, arguing about whose boogers are bigger, complaining about chores, crying b/c someone shot 'em point blank in the eye with a water gun, having their friends over everynight, running up the snack food bill, renting chick flicks and sleeping 'til noon. Ahh, summer-summer, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo...

I'm in G's ear all the time about how the kids NEED three months summer vacation again; how I need three months of summer vacation again. Soon the dreaded book reports and math homework will start and I'll feel more burdened than I did when I was in school. Isn't that the ultimate irony? Who cares if my Mom wished my children to be downright, rotten little scoundrels when I was a smart-arse teen? That would be bliss to not have to be the responsible adult, making sure everyone's projects are completed on time (note, I didn't say in a timely manner - I've given up on that - we're a family of procrastinators) and grades are somewhat acceptable. It stinks up ten months of my life every year. Gerald totally agrees that the kids need the extra month but is mandated by law to provide so many days of school each year. We could get rid of Fall and Spring Break, he says, but I say, shut up! that's crazy talk.

I'm mopin' around the house, severly limited by the amount of clutter that is to be a garage sale next Saturday...to pay for the extracurriculars around here - like our bedroom and bathroom that we just gutted. Yep, been sleepin' in the ole' family room for two weeks, our fireplace mantel serving as a closet and the seven of us sharing two bathrooms. I'm not unfamiliar with bathroom sharing, for the better part of my life at home, five of us shared one bathroom; however, when the status quo has been a private, adult bathroom, it takes a little getting used to the kids' toothpaste all over everything, floss lying around the counter, floors wet and slippery, bar soap that's sitting in the drain, all spongy, shampoo bottles that are empty...again and pirate ships floating in the shower with you. Privacy is the least of my concern.

The worst part of the whole deal though, is that pretty much on a conistent basis, I get into bed and find cracker crumbs all over - those suckers ITCH. The kids apparently figured out that watching TV, while sitting in Dad and Mom's bed, was kickin'. So, while I've been at work and G's been at pre-planning, they've all been scrunched in, snug and warm, eating anything that crumbs and then later using the bed as a trampoline, to evenly spread the crumbs to spots that are inexplicably unreachable to adult limbs, until bedtime. So, you think you've got all the crumbs swept up, you're cursing the kids under your breath trying to come up with an appropriate punishment for kids that feel safe and comfy in your bed but molest it w/crumbs. You're exhausted, you wriggle in, adjust your pj's, turn over twice, get your extra pillow tucked under your armpit just right, tuck the sheets around you, get your tootsies covered, start to drift off and freakin', freakin', freak! You're crumb-scratching.

I'm not sure there is anything I hate worse than crumbs in my bed.

Except for, the first day of school.

Magnolia Grandma

For Grandma Ellen.



Would someone (family) mind printing it off for her?

I took this picture back in May at the Birmingham Zoo. Why the zoo? Heck, if Iknow. Zoo...80 first graders...boredom...take your pick.

It's a closeup of a Magnolia bloom. My Grandma Ellen once commented about how pretty Magnolia Trees were (in pictures) and she would love to see a Magnolia Tree. She also heard they were huge. I've never forgotten that comment and, she's right, they're huge and they're beautiful, especially in full bloom. This picture is just a small bloom and it probably would cover my five year old's entire face. Perspective.

However, the darn trees NEVER stop growing and become a nuisance if you don't trim them regularly. Their leaves are huge also, as you can well see and they drop constantly, not just in the fall like most other tree leaves.

The flowers though, only last as long at the first big wind; they are a beautiful contrast of stark white against the very dark green leaves but the white quickly starts to spot brown. Beautiful, nonetheless.

We have a Magnolia on just about every property around us. I was a tad disappointed when we decided to buy our house that there was not even one huge, beautiful Magnolia to be found. Not long after we bought the house, I was commenting to a neighbor that I was mulling over buying a Magnolia sapling. "NO!" she exclaimed, "the trees are a pain and if you don't keep them under control, they're major trouble."

We still have yet to buy a sapling even though I'd love to go against neighborly wisdom and plant one anyway. We do have some neighbors that just let theirs grow out of control and they're quite a sight to see, with limbs extending all the way to the ground that create a cave-like enclosure. My kids like to play under them, as it's cool in temperature and as a fort/playhouse/hideout/club headquarters/chill zone.

Click on the picture and print it, someone, will ya' and then pass this along to Grandma Ellen, with my love.

More Monday than Usual

I'm officially a working mom as of the last two weeks. *Please, hold the applause until the end.* It's a school uniform store, not rocket science, but it has me dealing w/Moms who can be severely anal and they're on my everlasting nerve today. The job is only part-time and will be significantly moreso after school starts next week, so I'll still be in the SAHM club, just a little more wigged out than I used to be.

Mondays. I remembered today why I hated them so, back when I was a "career woman". I forgot to time in this morning so when I timed out for lunch, the computer was actually timing me in to work for the day. My day was all backward after that.

Well, just thought I'd check in to see who might be reading; apparently, everyone has checked out since my signing off last month. Bums.

Well, off to bed, it's late.

Fibber McGee

I admit it - I'm a Fibber McGee. We use the term affectionately around here when we catch someone in a white lie. Whatever that means.

Despite having sworn off any new posts just a short month ago, I had to post a video for family. Friends are welcome, as always, because honestly, mostly I like you better. And I'm sure I'll pay for that sentence. Oh well.

So, how are things in your neck-o-the-woods, 'cause let me tell ya', it's been hellishly hot in Alabama and it's not yet even August.

How hot is hellishly hot? Here's a visual for you:



Please note THE TIME on the clock....

That's PM! (although it was actually only 4:30 - cheap batteries.)

What in the H.E. (fill in your choice)?!?

Under such harsh conditions and with four of my own and three of their friends sleeping over for three nights, I only had one choice...throw them ALL in the pool, ALL DAY. The pool water felt just slightly less refreshing than bath water in HADES.

So, boredom struck after spending five or six hours in the pool, (not really thaaat long, Mom...crossing my fingers behind my back ;] ) the kids had a grand idea and I just "happened" to have my camera handy. The grand idea kept them content for another hour, at which point we emptied a popsicle box for the fifth time this week, then went inside for some Hannaaahhh Montanaaaa. Woo! What? ME? A CYNIC? I'm not a cynic, palease.

Watch this cool video and stay COOL wherever you are. :0)

Signing Off

About nineteen months ago, Five Kids and A Life jumped through a portal, entering the blog-o-sphere.

The time has come to jump back through.

For me, Five Kids and A Life was a therapist, a journal, a second look, a mentor, a lifeline.

It was double espressos and it was valleys of lavender. It was rush hour and it was Calgon.

It was great.

Thank you.