I've been EXTREMELY busy lately, volunteering at school, selling all kinds of our junk on eBay (hi, Ness!--loved those glasses) and going to a Beth Moore Convention in Nashville this past weekend. Yay! I LOVE Beth Moore Conventions--Kay Arthur also spoke and Priscilla Shirer, daughter of Pastor Tony Evans. They were all tremendous speakers and FUNNY! Mandisa gave her testimony and a micro-concert, as well. Awesome testimony, awesome concert--that girl can sing for Jesus! And she's beautiful.
Being busy, however, has not kept me from being the observant person that I am.
Being an observant person, combined with staying up until 2a.m. this morning while cooking Taco Soup, seven Rotisserie hens and three humongous steaks for dinners the next three nights, started me thinking about all the odd things I observed in the past week. For lack of a better blog, here is my tally that started on Saturday:
1. At Beth Moore Convention, I spot two of my second (or third) cousins from Kansas City. This is odd b/c I live in Alabama, one of them lives in Missouri and the other in Atlanta, Georgia; we haven't seen each other in years and we just happen to bump into each other in a convention hall full of 23,000+ women, in Tennessee! What are the odds?!?
2. Saw ANOTHER neighbor's toilet by the road today for garbage pickup. This is odd b/c it was directly across the street from neighbor who tossed his toilet by the road a few weeks ago. I started to wonder if maybe the two toilets were friendly and the other just couldn't bear to live anymore without her friend (yes, toilets are female; urinals are male--common sense, people. Bidets, well, they're European). In case you don't know about my "obsession," (some would call it) with abandoned toilets, read this.
3. While tying up seven cornish hens this evening, in preparation for the rotisserie, I had the tremendously frightening thought that if I was ever asked to tie up a human being, I wouldn't be able to. The seven small hens gave me a fit, especially their little, fat legs, and they were all dead, dead, dead! This may be crazy to you but it's not to me. My hubby once had to tie up a guy that was breaking into some apartments we owned and were renovating, in downtown Kansas City. My hubby backed him into a corner w/a piece of lead pipe he'd just cut from the plumbing; he proceeded to tie the guy up so he couldn't run--then they sat, and watched each other suspiciously and waited until the police arrived; I won't say how long that took--it was downtown of a big city and I'm sure there were more heinous crimes being commited than breaking and entering. So see, it's feasible that I MAY be asked at some point in my life to tie somebody up. Maybe I should take a knot-tying class.
4. While tying up the hens, I sort of felt like a big bully. They were just little things--no more than 18 ounces each, each one naked with goose-pimpled, pale skin and a huge hole where their head once was. I gently crossed their legs, wrapped kitchen twine tightly around them and proceeded to criss-cross the twine up their whole body, strapping in their wings. I sort of felt like I should say a prayer over them while stabbing their little bodies onto sharp rods for insertion into the rotisserie. I couldn't watch as they cooked. But I did inhale when they started to smell good AND I did take a little sample of a leg before I wrapped them in a blanket of foil and placed them lovingly into the fridge to be served tomorrow night, to my five ravenous children, who will tear into them like voracious beasts. If they didn't taste so dang good, the experience may have left me a vegetarian.
5. Piwi
The word alone cracked me up. It reminds me of the word little kids often use when they have to potty. I won't say it here...okay, "weewee". PeeWee Herman also came to mind, in his white suit, dancing on the bar. His stupid, red bike with the annoying bell. Piwi is actually an organic baby food I saw at Target tonight. It's a new product of theirs--I know when something is new b/c I'm in there like...everyday. Piwi is a cross between peas and kiwi, if I remember right. I looked up the company tonight. The food looked yummy--I almost bought a little container called, "Baby Tex Mex-a little chunky," just to see what it tasted like. It also reminded me of this girl I used to know in high school that brought baby food to school everyday for lunch. And ate it! She was really skinny...and strange. Stranger even, my hubby dated her once..and only once.
6. There was this little first grade girl that I saw in the hallway at my kids' school today. She and another little girl were making their way to the restroom and they rounded the corner about the same time as I and we all three almost ran smack-dab into two sixth graders. The sixth grade boys were each carefully carrying foil pans full of oil--cooking oil, I think. So this little, piggy-tailed, button-eyed, rosy-cheeked little cutie asked the boys what they had. They said, "oil". She said, "oil?!?, what for?" "We're burning it." They kept walking and she turned to me and said in a sixth graders are so dumb-voice, "You can't burn oil!" "Actually," I said, in my soft, motherly voice that I hardly ever use with my own kids, "You CAN burn oil; it burns real easy". Her button eyes got really big and curious-looking, like I imagine every pyromaniac looked in first grade; she said "Oh!" and seemed oddly excited about her newfound knowledge. It's always the cute & quiet ones!
7. Zac, my baby, was getting a haircut today. I sat watching him for a little while and, for some reason, he kept making faces at himself in the mirror while Henry (our stylist) was cutting away. He's never done that before. It was cracking me up. Next time I'm taking my camera! There is nothing odd about this, I just had to tell the cute story about my baby--you know how that is.
Well, all hens are done and put away; uniforms are washed and ready to go for Picture Day tomorrow (I HATE picture day); and being in charge of Picture Day tomorrow, I'd better get in bed so that I'll at least LOOK like I know what I'm doing.
I'm finally going to post a picture of myself tomorrow. During our kids' school's Grandparent's Day Luncheon on Friday, someone took my camera from me while I was clickin' away and took a quick pic of my hubby and I. It turned out pretty decent. Since Tammi and Kat have been on my case since the first time I talked about getting a new "do," I'm sure they are jumping up and down in absolute delight right now...or muttering under their breath, "It's about time!"
Moral of this Blog: "Don't do anything weird b/c someone, somewhere, is watching" and "never give a cute first grader information about fire".
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